perfidy

I was just informed by Teresa Heinz-Kerry that I am an idiot. I was surprised by this, seeing as I've never met the woman, but here it is:

Teresa Heinz Kerry says "only an idiot" would fail to support her husband's health care plan. But Heinz Kerry, the wife of Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry, told the (Lancaster) Intelligencer Journal that "of course, there are idiots." Kerry's proposal includes health care subsidies for children, the unemployed, small companies and more; and government assistance to insurers and employers that keep premiums for workers down. If Kerry is elected, Heinz Kerry predicts that opponents of his health care plan will be voted out of office. She says, "Only an idiot wouldn't like this."

In an ABC report on the CBS document pooch screwery, the officer's wife and son also doubt that the memos in question could have come from Killian. At the end of the piece is a very droll understatement:

Many Democrats are worried that if they are found to be forgeries, it will be a setback for Sen. John Kerry's campaign to defeat Bush in November.

I guess worrying about the professional integrity of a major news outlet, concurrant slander on a sitting president, and the fact that some of your allies are incompetant scumbags rate pretty far down the list.

John Hawkins serves up an interview with John O'Neill of the Swifties. Interesting article, in that for the first time I've gotten to hear O'Neill's whole story uninterrupted by, say, a screaming Chris Matthews. We report, you decide.

Via Cold Fury, this gem from an unlikely source - Something Awful:

Anti-Republican protestors - I cringe whenever hearing that the Republicans are planning some upcoming meeting, convention, or fundraiser to earn more money for the "Buy Jesus Christ a New Diamond Beard Foundation," not because I hate Republicans, but because I hate anti-Republican protestors even more. These loudmouthed, braindead raving cliches make me want to start voting Republican just to spite them, but naturally I avoid doing so because that would only ensure four more years of unwashed horse-like creatures parading down busy intersections while waving "BU$H IS EVIL" signs they drew with their parents' Magic Markers. The general idea here seems to be that if you are too fucking stupid to intelligently explain your position on a few political issues because you often break down into tears when losing arguments to eight-year olds regarding the quality of Willie Wonkie candy in the Hy-Vee parking lot, you can compensate for your lack of debate skills by being as loud and belligerent as possible. I mean, hell, that tactic works all the time, doesn't it? Do you know how many women have been converted to the ranks of Christianity thanks to the ceaseless efforts of the anti-abortion lobby and their rock-solid tactic of "standing outside abortion clinics in the middle of the rain and shrieking like the Pod People from 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers' whenever they spot a pregnant woman walking within a 20-mile radius of the clinic? I'm guessing somewhere between nine and ten hundred million billion thousand. Maybe even more if you count fat women as two people each. The insane liberals, despite how much they claim to loathe insane conservatives, seem to have absolutely no qualms with adopting their awesome policy of forming large groups waving crudely misspelled signs, stomping around public places to disrupt the daily routines of normal non-insane folks, and screaming at everybody they see with the ultimate goal of annoying them into submitting to their wills. If people have to choose between George Bush and a crowd of furious bicyclists whose biggest claim to fame is that one of their blogs was mentioned in passing by Al Franken on that one AM radio station nobody turns on because it's about as exciting as listening to NPR at 50% speed, they'll either choose George Bush or they'll choose to look away when the riot police start caving in skulls with their nightclubs.

 

Wow! Suddenly I hate George Bush and think America is just like Nazi Germany, all thanks to a fucking posterboard sign held by some fat unemployed shithead! The power of advertising in action!

Here's a newsflash you guys and gals who believe George Bush is going to physically break into your bathroom and steal the awesome weed you have hidden in that prescription gout medication bottle next to the Drano: most people might actually listen to you if you present your facts clearly and act confident enough in what you believe in to know that these facts will speak for themselves. Most people will NOT listen to you if you're stomping around and blocking traffic while shouting tremendously catchy slogans like "two, four, six, eight, George Bush is a fucking liar and is Hitler and Satan and fuck you George Bush you cocksucking father of whores." Whenever chucklefucks like you begin blocking up traffic and causing me to be delayed, my first two priorities instantly switch to running you down with my car and voting Republican across the boards, not necessarily in that order.

Allah has a roundup of links to various speculations that recent documents regarding Bush's Guard service might have been, well, not exactly authentic.

[wik] The Weekly Standard talked to a few of its own document specialists, and reached a similar conclusion. If this all proves out, CBS and 60 Minutes are going to have some serious egg on the face. It seems that a desire to make the president look bad might have overcome any lingering sense of journalistic integrity at CBS.

[alsø wik] In a space of hours, several blogs (Powerline, Allahpundit, LGF, Command Post and others) have taken a suspicion, tracked it down, analysed it, and have begun to reach conclusions.

We hear a lot about new media lately, and naturally, within the blog world many are quick to dislocate a shoulder patting themselves on the collective back for the growing influence of the blogosphere. But occasional egomania should not distract us from the very real, and fast growing power of blogging on the media. This story is a perfect example. In a space of literally hours, bloggers have pushed a suspicion into informed speculation, and driven the story into the traditional media outlets. Fox news has mentioned it, and several papers are likely to put it on the front page tomorrow. UPI has picked up the story as well.

The beauty of all this is not so much that CBS and Dan Rather will be deeply embarrassed, or that lame attempts to make Bush look bad are exposed. (Though these are good things in their own right.) The beauty lies in the way that this happened. Private citizens, in their spare time, have cracked a story that the entire news department at a major broadcast network completely missed. Information bouncing back and forth between Powerline blog, Allahpundit, Command Post, LGF and all their commenters and email correspondants was sifted, processed and error checked almost instantaneously. Savvy professional newscritters picked up the thread, and used their own resources to further develop the consensus.

We are seeing an open source news media in action. This is not a new idea, to be sure, but one of the most powerful instances of the idea since the fall of Trent Lott. As this phenomenon grows, the major media will be ever more unable to ignore the findings of the blog consensus. And the benefit to the media consumer will be immense, when legions of the obsessed are fact checking everything the media produces.

[alsø alsø wik] CBS is launching an internal investigation, anf the Washington Post is covering it as well. One day turn around. Let's see what we can do about Kerry's trips to Paris.

Murdoc has a fantastic video that gives us some great insight into the situation in Northern Iraq.

A group of British scientists have added themselves to Perfidy's ever growing list of traitors to the human race. They are developing a robot capable of devouring flies to support its inhuman activities. Granted, flies are easy to kill and devour; but given the accelerating rate of technlogical change, how long will it be before vampiric robots are using super sensitive chemical detectors to find and consume their creators? The end is nigh.

Thus sayeth the Acts of Gord, chapter seven:

"Do you sell mod chips?"

"Go ahead, ask me what I sell."

"What do you sell?"

"I sell video games. What a stupid question."

"What does a mod chip cost?"

"Apparently one of us isn't keeping up."

"What do you mean?"

"If I sold you a mod chip, then you would never buy a game from me ever again. And that would be very much in opposition to my being able to run a profitable business."

"I just want one to play copied games."

"What? Do I look like an idiot? What the hell did you think I thought you wanted it for?"

"err..."

"Exactly. Now look, if I were to sell you a mod chip I would lose you as a customer. Now, if I were going to lose you as a customer I'd rather do it on a high note like setting you on fire. At least then I would have some satisfaction of a job well done."

"I'm leaving!"

"But I haven't set you on fire yet!"

If you are interested, you can read Kerry's book The New Soldier online here. The book was written in the seventies with the group Vietnam Veterans Against the War. The page also has a link to Kerry's 1971 congressional testimony that has been the center of some controversy lately, or so I hear. The site is sponsored by the Federalist, which is a partisan but so far as I am aware honest group.

When Dick Cheney says...

"It's absolutely essential that eight weeks from today, on Nov. 2, we make the right choice, because if we make the wrong choice then the danger is that we'll get hit again and we'll be hit in a way that will be devastating from the standpoint of the United States."

... is he really saying "vote for us or I give some jihadist fanatics the keys to the cabinet with the big red button?"

Because that interpretation is no more stupid than what I think he really means. Honestly... crap like this is enough to drive a sane man to vote Kerry.

My parents make their own sauerkraut. Every year they grow a special patch of cabbage, and each fall about a hundred pounds of that hearty Ohio goodness gets loaded into a crock my grandparents brought over from Germany, salted, and weighted with boards. For a few weeks the basement is a difficult place to be without goggles and a rebreather, but once put in jars for long term storage, the final result is breathtaking. My parents’ sauerkraut is a monument to the incomprehensible miracle of friendly bacteria; sweet, pungent, salty, and subtle in equal measure and as different from the metallic harshness of the canned or bagged supermarket versions as the finest homebrew ale is from 40 ounces of Lazer Malt Liquor (Kestrel, for our UK friends). It might not be for everybody, but many a nonbeliever has come away from the table with a new understanding for what good kraut really is.

Jazz-funk is kind of like that.
Jazz purists scorn the genre for being too one-dimensional, for being crassly devoted to the simple pleasures of one key and an endless groove, and there is certainly something to that. More sins have been committed with a Fender Rhodes piano and a drum machine than were ever dreamed of by medieval catalogers of the myriad varieties of human perfidy. But to dismiss jazz-funk as more noodling over a repetitive beat is to deny the undeniable allure of solid grooves and burning solos. Yes, when it’s bad it’s bad like sauerkraut from a can. But when it’s good-- when the band is on and taking you higher-- it can make a believer out of the squarest soul.

However, there is a catch. Have you ever eaten too much sauerkraut?

Soulive are a soul-jazz-funk-fusion trio who for nearly ten years have been building a reputation for themselves on the strength of their muscular, grooving live shows (their albums have been pretty good too). Composed of Eric Krasnow (guitar) and brothers Neil (organ) and Alan Evans (drums), the New England group have split their time between jazzhead and deadhead audiences, balancing much like Medeski Martin & Wood between pure jazz excursions and dirty groovefests. But where MM&W never fully embraced their inner hippie and have been turning out increasingly cerebral music, Soulive seem determined to go where only Maceo Parker and Fred Wesley have gone before in making a career out of chasing the Great White Groove.

This one-groove strategy is both their greatest weapon and greatest weakness. To enjoy their live shows, you have to be totally on board for 75 minutes of uptempo funk blowing or you’re just not going to get it. On any given night Soulive can either blow your mind or bore you to tears. Even so, their sometimes outstanding live shows are a better setting than their solid but somewhat insubstantial studio recordings to get what they mean by “So Live.” The only question is, how much is enough?

The band recently teamed with Pirate Entertainment and DiscLive to produce a series of live insta-albums recorded over three nights at Tribeca Rock Club in New York. Each show was recorded live and made available for download immediately, and preorders were cut, packaged and shipped in one week. For a band like Soulive whose entire reason for being is to play transcendent live shows, this seems, on paper at least, to be a brilliant move. I recently obtained the double-disc sets of the first and third nights (July 29 and July 31), and in general they confirm what I already know: sauerkraut is delicious until it’s time to be ill.

Soulive owe a great debt to the giants of what is now called “soul jazz.” Their sound invokes Jimmy Smith, Grant Green, Herbie Hancock and John Scofield, as well as funk icons like the Family Stone, Maceo Parker, and the JBs. Krasnow in particular is a sometimes brilliant player, weaving driving single-note lines that recall Green and Sco in and around the deep rhythms held down by the brothers Evans. Over the course of ten years their sound hasn’t changed very much, mainly involving subtle variations on a groove that recalls early-JBs James Brown smoothed with a little Wes Montgomery.

The July 29 show stars with a steaming version of “El Ron” featuring a slippery solo from Krasnow but derails quickly into a sub- Maceo fatback version of “Hurry Up… And Wait” that recalls the tepid album version from 2001’s Doin’ Somethin’. However, the rest of disc one is solid, featuring the band doing what they do best—burning between 120 and 140 BPM. Each track burns intensely, taking the tightly-packed crowd higher, and disc 2 continues the ride with six tight, long grooves. Unfortunately, the energy ebbs about ten minutes before the finale, “Do It Again” ends, leaving the show to peter out rather than end with a bang.

Since this is a single live show beginning to end, it comes complete with high points, stage patter, and watch-checking moments. In general, Live in NYC July 29 2004 is good but too uneven to recommend for the casual fan. The band are still chasing the groove, but sometimes it just won’t be found.

Live…. July 31st is a different story. On this third night of the band’s stand at Tribeca, the grooves are tighter, the sound is more consistent, the solos are generally more fluid, and what some tracks lack in meltdown-grade groove explosions is made up in general quality and interest, including an encore rundown of Herbie Hancock’s chestnut “Chameleon.” The original recording of this song is so iconic and powerful that most bands struggle to find a way to play it without merely rehashing and paying tribute to the power of the HeadHunters. Soulive succeed in making the song theirs, in their sound, without losing the furious swing and grit everyone remembers.

Although I don’t have night two, Live… July 30th, it looks interesting too, featuring covers of “Jesus Children of America “and “Crosstown Traffic” along with band standards “One in Seven” and “Uncle Junior.”

One strange aspect of the live-to-legit-bootleg recording process is revealed in the pothead laxity brought to the setlists and liner notes. PirateBootlegs’ website claims that the second disc from July 31st starts with a cover of Stevie Ray Vaughn’s “Lenny,” but in reality is something I don’t quite recognize as “Solid” from Doin’ Something. ("Lenny" actually appears on disc one, in a version that at points approaches the pathos and beauty of the original-- not an easy thing to do.) This kind of error, combined with the lack of liner notes in the albums (at least in the stickered full-art promo I received) is a real disappointment, especially for a band whose Phishlike following trade live shows and legendary setlists. I expect more for a full $20. I remain old-school enough to expect the full treatment, even though all signs point toward the assumption that these albums will be IPodified by most interested parties.

In any case, Soulive’s double live offerings prove it is hard to stay interested over the course of two discs of material by a band who are still learning how to deliver the goods every night. If you are looking for an introduction into Soulive’s music, you can do much, much worse than Live… July 31st, but I’d still recommend picking up 2002’s single-disc live album, Soulive or their 1999 studio Turn It Out. Since the band already have a live album under their belt, and since they are not yet prone to stretch out and transform their songs night to night, it’s hard to see why this trio of discs are strictly necessary. Like my parents, Soulive are chasing perfection. But that is how jazz-funk is like sauerkraut: it’s delicious, even amazing, but if you overdo it by too much you’re probably not going to want any more for a long, long time.

More information Soulive's Live in NYC albums here:
Soulive: Live In NYC July 29 2004
Soulive: Live In NYC July 30 2004
Soulive: Live In NYC July 31 2004

This post also appears at blogcritics.org. Check out blogcritics for more media goodness and general funtime bloggery.

I take a quick break from being beaten with sticks at my place of work to observe that Fafblog!'s political bloggering have nailed it again (nailed what? "it." What's "it?" I dunno but I know "it" when I see it."QED).

"Well we agree to disagree," says me. "Like we do whenever we talk about Coke™ versus Poison™."
"It may taste bad an curdle my blood an kill me," says Giblets. "But at least I know where Poison™ stands."

Ace of Spades digs up a link to the recent Time Mag poll that shows Bush with a double digit lead over Kerry.

The meaty stuff:

Friday, Sep. 03, 2004
New York: For the first time since the Presidential race became a two person contest last spring, there is a clear leader, the latest TIME poll shows. If the 2004 election for President were held today, 52% of likely voters surveyed would vote for President George W. Bush, 41% would vote for Democratic nominee John Kerry, and 3% would vote for Ralph Nader, according to a new TIME poll conducted from Aug. 31 to Sept. 2.

Most important issues: When asked what they consider are the most important issues, 25% of registered voters cited the economy as the top issue, followed by 24% who cited the war on terrorism as the top issue.

And this:

• Iraq: 53% trust Bush to handle the situation in Iraq, while 41% trust Kerry.
• Terrorism: 57% trust Bush to handle the war on terrorism, while 36% trust Kerry.
• Providing strong leadership: 56% said they trust Bush to provide strong leadership in difficult times, while 37% said they trust Kerry to provide leadership in difficult times.

Thanks to Ace, who I have been sorely remiss in linking. Bad me. Of course, I wasn't even posting for most of the summer, so I wasn't exactly tootin my own horn, either.

By way of my favorite supreme being we find this interesting article from, of all places, the San Francisco Chronicle. Debra Saunders has an interesting analysis of the two conventions:

A New York Times/CBS News poll in July found that three-quarters of Democratic voters and 86 percent of Boston delegates opposed the war in Iraq. Yet both John Kerry and John Edwards voted for the resolution authorizing force in Iraq in 2002.

The same poll found that 19 percent of GOP voters and 3 percent of GOP delegates oppose the war. Those delegates are in harmony with Bush and Veep Dick Cheney, even if 51 percent of all voters polled oppose the war.

That's the central difference between the GOP and the Democrats: The Democrats were willing to -- no, they chose to, by nominating Kerry -- sell out their core issue in order to beat George W. Bush.

That's how fanatical their hatred is.

Republicans, on the other hand, are willing to lose an election for a cause they believe in. Bush knew when he began that the war in Iraq could cost him the election, but he did what he thought was best. And he still isn't flinching.

This also sheds some light on the character of the two conventions - one sidestepping the records of its candidates, and some softshoe on the military service Kerry did three decades ago; the other aggressive, focused on the importance of one issue - the war on terror.

Debra concludes:

And many Democrats think that they're going to lose. A famous wartime poster had Winston Churchill's face looming over the words, "Deserve victory." You deserve victory when you believe in a cause so much that you are willing to take risks for it.

This year, the Democrats abandoned their principles, implying either that they don't trust the America people to appreciate their message, or that they don't trust their message. Democrats aren't willing to take risks, but they are willing to choose someone whom they want to mislead the public. For that alone, they deserve to lose, and I think they know it.

Just when you thought you'd seen the craziest lunacy the interweb had too offer, the Ministry is here to disabuse you of that notion. Herewith, a collection of truly disturbing gems from the darkest corners of the world spanning internet:

• Doing the Lynndie. Not sure what that is? Well, remember the disturbing image of Lynndie England pointing at the Iraqi POW's unit? Apparently people are taking it upon themselves to imitate her. Like this guy:

  

  Don't try this at home, as you'll likely get your ass whupped.

• Ever feeling a burning desire to crush your own nads? I never have, but the interweb has resources to help you do it correctly and effectively.

• Islam is the religion of peace - this is well known. But until recently Islam had lagged far behind other world religions in kitschy clocks. No longer! Welcome to Mosque Clock, home of the mosque shaped alarm clock! Don't miss your appointment with Allah, set your mosque clock, and it will tell you when to face Mecca.

  See the clock!

  

  Hear the clock! Now, if they were really smart, they'd include a compass.

• If you love someone set the free. If they don't come back, cremate them and turn their ashes into a diamond.
• Here are two completely different ways to increase productivity.
• Transformers breakdancing. And if they come into your room, you can retreat to your NBC protected, bulletproof and internet ready plush coffin.
• Finally, I am inflamed beyond the power of modesty! Touch my vitals quickly, lest I die!

Kerry's late night speech rather suprised me. You'd think that a nominally intelligent candidate for the highest office in the land would not, immediately after a opponent's convention that savaged his Senate record, jump right back to the one issue that has been the source of all his troubles for the last month.

"For the past week, they attacked my patriotism and my fitness to serve as commander in chief. Well, here's my answer. I'm not going to have my commitment to defend this country questioned by those who refused to serve when they could have...

The vice president even called me unfit for office last night. I guess I'll leave it up to the voters whether five deferments makes someone more qualified to defend this nation than two tours of duty.''

This ill-conceived rally, right after the end of the GOP convention, makes him look desperate. The tone and content of the speech makes him look ridiculous.

Now why would they be protesting the Republican National Convention?

Interested Participant links to a list of groups protesting the GOP confab, and I have to say that this list is the first evidence I've seen that the far left has a sense of humor. Oh wait, they're serious about those names. Sorry!

Here is an excerpt of the excerpt:

House of The Goddess Center for Pagan Wombyn
African Ancestral Lesbians United for Societal Change
Code Pink
Committee to Free Pedro Pacheco
Communist Party USA
Labone Branch of Ghana United Nations Association
League of Revolutionaries for a New America
Missing Kitten TV
Ronald Reagan Home for the Criminally Insane
Ruckus Society
Ukuleles For Sanity

and my personal favorite:

Victims of Direct Energy and Electronic Harassment

You can get the whole list here.

TL Hines alerts us to an article that is of particular relevance to our madly music reviewing minister Johno:

Clichés manage to find their way into our everyday language easily enough, but they're perhaps even more insidious in writing--so much so that certain communities of writers begin to fall prey (Was that a cliché? Yes, I think it was.) to a unique, snippet-filled shorthand.

Though the article is aimed at book reviewers, it is chock-full of tips for avoiding the landmines that litter the landscape of modern review writing.

A sprawling epic of an essay, an emotional rollercoaster that hits the ground running at breakneck speed.

Again via Rocket Jones, a link to the Winds of Change roundup of all the good news from Iraq. It's a long, long list.

Kerry really seems to want his cake and eat it too. If the soldiers in Vietnam were responsible for rapes, atrocities, and behaving in a manner reminiscent of Ghengis Khan as Kerry claimed that they did, perhaps that does make those who didn't serve there better qualified to be the leaders of our country. If soldiers in Vietnam, including Kerry, didn't do those things then perhaps if Kerry is to make such political hay out of his many medals he really ought to repudiate his comments from 1971. Either way, he's being hypocritical.

More information on Kerry's behavior after he came back from the 'Nam can be found at QandO, focusing on Operation RAW. (Link courtesy of Rocket Jones who has had a lot of good posts up recently.) Also, he apparently met with the North Vietnamese more than he had previously admitted, as FBI files show. This is arguably illegal. I don't think Kerry is being particularly forthcoming about his activities in the seventies in connection with the VVAW.

Everyone knows that when it comes to capricious backstabbing, random wantonness and general perfidiousness, nobody beats Ma Nature. The muscular and talented Phil Dennison has the details on some fairly badass relief efforts aimed at helping the victims of Hurricane Charley, and, we presume, the victims of Hurricane II: The Strange And Terrible Revenge Of Frances.

Great Western Media Satans Clear Channel and MTV have each launched a high-profile celebrity auction to raise money to aid the Red Cross' relief efforts in storm-hit areas. MTV's auction (full monty here) has items from the Video Music Awards, including everything from a sweaty wifebeater worn by Nelly (eww!) to guitars signed by Yoko Ono and Gwen Stefani (dude!!) to a Saturn VUE signed by everybody and their mother (sweet!!!!). Like seriously: everybody and their mother, Christina Aguilera, Carson Daly, Gwyneth Paltrow, Dave Navarro, Hulk Hogan, Will Smith, LL Cool J, Ludacris and the Beasties being among the signers.

ClearChannel's auction is a guitar bonanza, featuring guitars signed by everyone from The Nuge and Tenacious D to Alan Jackson. I even found one signed by JohnO, which is odd as I didn't even know I was in Five For Fighting! Where's my royalty checks and songwriter splits, dammit!? And why have I been writing such lameass songs?

If auctions aren't your thing, or if it's a ramen-in-the-dark-hiding-from-the-landlord kind of month, please consider donating to the Red Cross directly. The last tropical storm deluged my brother-in-law's family with ten feet of flood waters, and if Frances turns juuuuust a little to the north of it's present course my sister will have to run like hell for the high ground. Maybe these storms don't affect every one of us-- least of all those of us with the good sense not to live near the water in the Southern states-- but as REM taught us in "Everybody Hurts," human suffering is not only subjective but universal too.

If nothing else, bid on something for the queer satisfaction of seeing Clear Channel do something decent for a change.

Zell Miller's speech:

Damn!

That time again, kids.

Beloit College has yet again released its "Mindset List" for the class of 2008.

The list is sometimes spun as a guide for helping faculty and administrators better understand their new undergraduates. With a more thorough appreciation of the cultural and experiential gaps between teacher and student, older and younger, ripened and fresh, a better education is possible. Or something. I take it as a poke in the eye for anyone over 25, and that's quite probably the proper interpretation.

Forthwith:

1.  Most students entering college this fall were born in 1986.
2.  Desi Arnaz, Orson Welles, Roy Orbison, Ted Bundy, Ayatollah Khomeini, and Cary Grant  have
always been dead.
3.  “Heeeere’s Johnny!” is a scary greeting from Jack Nicholson, not a warm welcome from Ed
McMahon.
4.  The Energizer bunny has always been going, and going, and going.
5.  Large fine-print ads for prescription drugs have always appeared in magazines.
6.  Photographs have always been processed in an hour or less.
7.  They never got a chance to drink 7-Up Gold, Crystal Pepsi, or Apple Slice.
8.  Baby Jessica could be a classmate.
9.  Parents may have been reading The Bourne Supremacy or It as they rocked them in their
cradles.
10.  Alan Greenspan has always been setting the nation’s financial direction.
11.  The U.S.  has always been a Prozac nation.
12.  They have always enjoyed the comfort of pleather.
13.  Harry has always known Sally.
14.  They never saw Roseanne Roseannadanna live on Saturday Night Live.
15.  There has always been a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
16.  They never ate a McSub at McD’s.
17.  There has always been a Comedy Channel.
18.  Bill and Ted have always been on an excellent adventure.
19.  They were never tempted by smokeless cigarettes.
20. Robert Downey, Jr. has always been in trouble.
21.  Martha Stewart has always been cooking up something with someone.
22.  They have always been comfortable with gay characters on television.
23.  Mike Tyson has always been a contender.
24.  The government has always been proposing we go to Mars, and it has always been
deemed too expensive.
25.  There have never been any Playboy Clubs.
26.  There have always been night games at Wrigley Field.
27.  Rogaine has always been available for the follicularly challenged.
28.  They never saw USA Today or the Christian Science Monitor as a TV news program.
29.  Computers have always suffered from viruses.
30.  We have always been mapping the human genome.
31. Politicians have always used rock music for theme songs.
32.  Network television has always struggled to keep up with cable.
33.  O’Hare has always been the most delay-plagued airport in the U.S.
34.  Ivan Boesky has never sold stock.
35.  Toll-free 800 phone numbers have always spelled out catchy phrases.
36.  Bethlehem has never been a place of peace at Christmas.
37.  Episcopal women bishops have always threatened the foundation of the Anglican Church.
38.  Svelte Oprah has always dominated afternoon television; who was Phil Donahue anyway?
39.  They never flew on People Express.
40.  AZT has always been used to treat AIDS.
41.  The international community has always been installing or removing the leader of Haiti.
42.  Oliver North has always been a talk show host and news commentator.
43.  They have suffered through airport security systems since they were in strollers.
44.  They have done most of their search for the right college online.
45.  Aspirin has always been used to reduce the risk of a heart attack.
46.  They were spared the TV ads for Zamfir and his panpipes.
47.  Castro has always been an aging politician in a suit.
48.  There have always been non-stop flights around the world without refueling.
49.  Cher hasn’t aged a day.
50.  M.A.S.H. was a game: Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House.

BBC is running a "this day in history" thingy.

Today is the anniversary of the German invasion of Poland, and the outbreak of World War the Second. If you are a victim of a public school, or under the age of 65, that's the one with the Nazis.

This will expecially please Minister Buckethead, late of Ohio:

Besides bringing the Yankees one game closer to losing the division to my beloved Red Sox, my slightly less beloved Indians handed the Yanks their worst loss in the history of the team. Moreover, the 22-0 score matched the record for worst shutout beating since 1900 (the Pirates beat the Cubs by the same score in 1976). That's right: these beatings happen once a century. The last time a team got beaten worse than 22-0, William McKinley was President. [I'm still trying to find a hard cite of this last-worst beating].

More unseemly gloating from Phil Dennison.

I hear that the Iowa delegation to the Republican National Convention is handing out T-shirts reading "God's Own Party."

Huh... How's that read in Arabic?

[wik] The appropriate antidote, complete with disturbing rabbit mask, here.

[alsø wik] Further evidence that the GOP's tent would have me sleeping out in the rain is that one Sheri Dew gave the invocation the opening night of the Republican National Convention. Who is Sheri Dew? Well, in the first link there, she writes on the threat of gay marriage thus: "At first it may seem a bit extreme to imply a comparison between the atrocities of Hitler and what is happening in terms of contemporary threats against the family—but maybe not." So she's sort of a walking Godwin's Corollary of Mormon Christ-love.

[alsø alsø wik] Naturally, our next President of the United States Norbizness has more on the inimitable Sheri Dew. Remember: civil unions are like Hitler, and the Log Cabin Republicans are perfectly welcome in full view of the TV cameras on the convention floor.

According to the Associated Press, The US Department of Justice has dropped the charges against a suspected Al Qaeda cell in Detroit. Karim Koubriti, Ahmed Hannan and Farouk Ali-Haimoud were arrested on September 17, 2001 (alleged ringleader Abdel-Ilah Elmardoudi was arrested in November) in was trumpeted as the first clear victory in the newly minted "War On Terror."

In a dramatic reversal on the eve of President Bush's nomination acceptance [zing!], the Justice Department acknowledged its original prosecution of a suspected terror cell in Detroit was filled with a ''pattern of mistakes and oversights'' that warrant the dismissal of the convictions.

In a 60-page memo that harshly criticizes its own prosecutors' work, the department told U.S. District Judge Gerald Rosen on Tuesday night it supports the Detroit defendants' request for a new trial and would no longer pursue terrorism charges against them. The defendants at most would only face fraud charges at a new trial.

The Justice Department had to spike its own case, citing instances of prosecutorial misconduct serious enough that the government had "no reasonable prospect of winning" the case. ''In its best light, the record would show that the prosecution committed a pattern of mistakes and oversights that deprived the defendants of discoverable evidence (including impeachment material) and created a record filled with misleading inferences that such material did not exist. . . ."

All of which is what I feared would happen. Not to come over all negative-nellie, but I haven't exactly been confident of the current administration's abilities in any arena, before or after 2001. (Man, thanx to those tax cuts, the economy's really crankin'! Iraq sure cut the heart out of international terror! And Afghanistan? I plan to vacation there next year!) The War on Terror tastes to me exactly like the War on Drugs (can you still get drugs for cheap?) and the War on Poverty (been panhandled recently?), which is a shame. So far, the public failures of the WoT look like unserious responses to serious problems that leave everyone with egg on their face and just makes it harder to fight the actual, important battles that come up. These four guys were very probably terrorists, but now we'll never frickin' know.

Nice work, guys. Tommy Chong rots in prison while murderous fanatics walk free. Good to see we all have our priorities straightened out.

[wik] Days like today just underscore the importance of winning this thing. In the space of 24 hours, a suicide bomber killed ten and wounded 50 outside a Moscow subway station, Iraqi goons beheaded twelve Nepalese citizens for no good reason outside of murderous pique, Palestinian suicide bombers blew up two buses in Jerusalem, killing 16 and wounding at least 80, and, in the most twisted variation yet on the suicide-hostage riff, Chechen rebels wearing bombs have invaded a Russian grade school, taking 200 schoolchildren and their teachers hostage on the first day of school.